Miss G.'s Story: The Flip-Flopper

One very uneventful night out with the girls, months after being brutally heartbroken and not meeting anyone, I met him: The Flip-Flopper.

I was sitting on a community couch in the middle of a place called, The Griffin - a large, cavernous, castle-like bar/lounge in Atwater Village (LA)- with a bunch of girls that didn't drink, talking about things that were not interesting. I decided to saunter over to the bar, alone. I am not one of those girls that need a girlfriend to accompany me everywhere. In fact, I needed to get away from them and be alone for a minute, figure out what I was doing there. I was slouching over the bar, waiting for a drink, when a very charming Irishman started talking to me. I don't even remember what was said, but it was upbeat and witty. His friend started joining in the conversation... something to do with 80's bands and favorite songs to break up to... His friend was cute, and Irish guy mentioned something about being married (I have a LOT of married guy stories in LA) so even though I was having more fun talking to Irish guy, I started talking to cute guy.

I think I was either trying to quit smoking or was going to soon, but me and cute guy ended up grabbing a smoke on the smoking patio. At one point, I started to feel guilty because I totally ditched my friends. Before I could do anything about it, I heard in the distance, "There you are!" It was one of my friends, looking for me. I sheepishly said, "Oh, I'm sooo sorry!" "I got caught up in conversation and forgot to tell you guys." She told me that they were leaving, and I told cute guy I must go and say "'bye"...etc. He asked if I would come back, and I told him I would. Ooh! I was so excited! I apologized profusely to my friends and reminded them how hard it is to meet someone in LA. They were cool.

I went back and had a delightful conversation with Irish guy and cute guy until closing. Cute guy walked me to my car and made for the full on make-out kiss. I was alright with it. I say this because I am not always alright with instant make-out unless there is amazing chemistry. I don't remember if I offered or if he asked, but I gave him a ride to his car. He asked for my number and if we could go out sometime and I said, "Yesss." I told him that I had friends in town that weekend and that we were going to the Big Foot Lodge so I wouldn't be free, and somehow he invited himself as an "I love that place, can I meet you there?" sort of thing. I told him I'd text him the update.

The night rolled around and I texted him what time we were going. He texted that he would try to make it. Whatever, I was with friends, I was actually thinking it wouldn't be the best circumstances. Midnight rolled around, and the friends wanted to go home because they were tired, so we left. I got a text at 1:20 a.m. asking where I was. I told him we left... 1:20 a.m.? What could this guy possibly want from me for 20 minutes left of a bar night, except sex. Rude. I told him I was already home and goodnight.

Sometime during the week, he texted about getting together and every time we made a plan, he flaked out the day before or the day of, saying he was "sick." He apologized, saying that he wasn't really a flake and that he really was sick and that he was too vain to see me while he was sick. That went on for about 3 weeks, at which point, I was like, "Look, if you're sick you're sick, but don't bullshit me. I appreciate honesty, and at this point I don't know what to believe and I don't even remember what you look like anymore." He was a little taken aback but insisted he really was sick. Finally, I think about 3 weeks after the initial meeting, we actually went out. The guy kinda made me pick where to go, and I don't love that. If you ask me out, especially the first time, you should have the plan. I always make the plan, and it's nice to have someone do the work for a change. Anyway, it was fine. I picked some low key sushi place. We had a great time, exchanged hilarious dating stories, talked about books, music, said "We should go do that together!" alot, the whole gamut. We smooched goodbye, and he asked me to do something over the weekend. I said, "Sure." The weekend came and he said he was "sick" again! I think he flaked once more and then MySpaced me that he was really sorry, but could we just be friends?... One of the girls he was telling me about was actually recent and she was having a really hard time with the breakup and was stalking him. I didn't even care anymore, I had enough red flags and I wasn't invested enough, so I said, "Sure, whatever dude." So much drama. I love the guys whose motto is, "I don't want any drama." - 9 times out of 10, they're the ones who are always making it.


So, fine, I expected not to hear from him. I think I invited him to a bar or some event once. One day, he emailed me and asked if I wanted to go see Sweeny Todd... of course I did! Sure...not a date...fine, I have lots of guy friends, so this is what I was thinking. He called and said if I drove to his house, he would drive from there. I got there and he was all a flutter, telling me how he cleaned his truck for me...yada yadda. Huh? He also seemed a little nervous and freshly shaven... etc. Double huh? We ended up going to the bar at the Arclight and having a drink first, having a lovely chat that seemed rather flirtatious. In fact, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. The whole night went that way, after the movie we went to one of his hangouts and I met some of his friends. We all talked and hung out all night. He got me drinks, it was very date-like. We went back to his house so I could get my car and he asked if I wanted a beer first. I should have said, no. I got the beer, and somehow he moved in for the make-out... I say, "Whoa, whoa, I thought you didn't want to date anyone right now!" "What gives?" Then he tells me, he thought he didn't, but that he was ready now, and he was stupid. The make-out gets heavy, his pants start to come off, and again I say, "Whoa, whoa!" "You go from wanting to be my friend to wanting to date me again in 0-60 and now you want me to sleep with you?" "I need to get to know you a little first, and uh, build that trust back up." Okay, okay, then he asks if I will just sleep over... "no funny stuff." Ha! I know that line. So I leave.

Two days later I get another email saying that he's not really ready to date, and that he is very sorry but can we be friends?...again! I told him in many words plus these two: Fuck Off. This pissed him off. He finally grew some balls to call me at that point, because it was of course about his feelings now, and I think said something to the effect of, "Why are you acting like I killed your puppy?"...or something like that. I told him he was an idiot and hung up on him. A girl could only take so much.

Good thing I am forgiving and let him be my friend again a year later after a very believable apology letter... guess what... pretty much the same thing happened all over again. Big surprise.