Veronica's Story #2: Touch My Dick Guy

This story reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine goes out with one of Jerry's friends and the guy "takes it out" on the first date.

So I ran into this guy down here in LA that I previously met through a friend who had dated him in the past. My friend would tell you to date this guy...very sweet guy, very cool. I was very attracted to him, so we exchanged information. He worked for a label and we met up and he gave me a whole bagful of cd's and then invited me to go see 30 Seconds to Mars. I was dying to see them and I thought he was hot, I mean I really felt chemistry with this guy, so I'm thinking, yes. I checked in with my friend, and I said, "Listen, I know you dated this guy and I'm not the girl that goes and does this, but he lives in LA and you live in New York... you guys aren't boyfriend-girlfriend... do you mind if I...." and she said, "Oh my god! If you two can make something work out, I'm totally supportive... because he's fantastic, and you're fantastic, I'm all for it if you can make something work out." I got the blessing...

A couple weeks before the show, he asked me out to dinner. We went to dinner and he seemed nervous, really nervous, so I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk around the block. I was just trying to make him feel comfortable... it was loud and just uneasy in there. So we're walking on Fairfax Ave. (a very busy LA street) and we enter the cross street of Santa Monica Blvd. (another very busy LA street)...it's super hectic, trafficky... not especially intimate... he takes my face and starts kissing me... We weren't kissing for more than 30 seconds when he takes my hand and puts it on his hard dick. He says, "Look how excited you get me!" I take my hand off, put it on his face and I say, "For now, I like kissing you." We're kissing another 30 seconds - now mind you this is the first kiss, this is not someone I've known or I've been out with very long - literally 30 seconds later takes my hand again and says, "Look how hard you get me." And I say, "Listen, I'd like to get to know you. You seem really cool and I'd like to get to know you first. He says, "We could do that at my place..." and I say, "Listen, I am not going home with you tonight. I don't sleep around anymore, I'd like to get to know people before i sleep with them at this point in my life." Now, the thing is, that this is a guy I was really excited about, and here he was trying to pick up the pace and I mean, we were standing on Fairfax and he expected me to take my hand and put it on his dick. So I go, "Listen, I'm gonna slow things down, I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna look forward to hanging out again.

I left gracefully. Earlier that night, I was complaining that the heat in my apartment wasn't working so I was gonna be freezing. I got home and he called me up and he asked, "So are you home already? I just wanted to make sure you got home OK... and I go, "Oh, that's sweet." He goes, have you changed for bed yet? and i go, "Well i'm about to... and he goes, "So, what are you wearing now?" He tries to have phone sex with me! So I ended up getting really pissed about the whole situation, but he kept calling me. He says, "Listen, what happened? I thought there was something there?" and i go, "Listen, I was really bothered that you kept taking my hand and putting it on your dick. I'm not 15, I know you have a dick, I know where it is, and I know exactly what to do with it and I'll get there. I understand when I was 15 I needed the introduction, but I'm good at 30, I'm down with the dick and I'll get there on my own time!" He's like, "Listen, you were getting me so hot, I just wanted you to know how hot you were getting me." And I go, "Within the first kiss?" I've never had anyone in all my years of dating...I mean, he hadn't even copped a feel, not even touched a boob, literally in the middle of the first kiss took my hand and put it on his dick.

What a dick.